Zoe had a day off daycare today, there is a lot to be said about daycare days off, usually when parents are meant to be somewhere else - mainly work. But it got me thinking about the bigger picture of parents staying home with children and their relationship to society.
I must disclose I'm one of the lucky ones (in my view) I work fromm home so these "off" days are cherished as spacial days to do something together.
What disturbs me is the fact that there so may parents who can't, they will have to stretch their leave/sick days in order to fit into the school/daycare schedule... Or they would have to cough up some more money to keep the kids with a sitter or an alternative program. Eventually forcing them to work overtime to earn the extra money. A sort of twisted method of actually paying in order to continue working - like I said twisted.
This issue has bothered me since I have learned that maternity leave in the USA is considered as a "DISABILITY" leave. I find this kind of terminology extremely disturbing and degrading, since when has having a baby, a new member of society become a disability??? Or as friend of mine described her feeling of how American society views child birth "Don't bother us because you have decided to have kids it's not our fault". When in fact I found there was nothing in the world that empowers or motivates me more in life than having a child.
Aren't we looking at this the wrong way? Isn't the crutch of society families who are run down by the rat race? The erosion of trust between people, because as infants they had never had the time to assimilate trust. Don't get me wrong I don't think people who have kids should not be part of the working force. On the contrary I believe it sets the best example for children to except responsibility in life. But it can't be black and white - work or stay at home.
There must be some thought put into this, a responsible society should have to make parents stay at home with their children (or at least make them come home in time for dinner), and assume the responsibility of bringing them to this world - could there be a more powerful lesson then that? Yes, I know there are people who choose not to have children who might object to this - but hey one day someone is going to have to help you when you are in a wheel chair unable to eat on your own, and it might be my daughter, so stop being so self centered and rude about this. One has to take a quick look at the amount of "Baby Boomers" that are around, and realize we have our work cut.
OK we can't make it a perfect world, but at least lets make an effort and start by finding the right kind of language to describe how maternity leave should be looked upon - raising a loved member of society who will later on become a more tolerant, and productive member of society? I'm still not sure how to name this leave but eliminating the word disability should be the first thing on our list.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Slowdown...
Slowdown has hit us hard...
Beginning November 2008 I have been carefully monitoring the bright red and yellow "50%-75%-we'll pay you to take it" posters that have popped all around the block. Worried by the sight of empty retail spaces around... vacant lots with clearly marked parking spaces, I have made a choice to take a new optimistic view on this.
Since things have slowed down I have had more time to spend with my daughter - and I mean quality time.
Zoe and I have started cooking together, she can now cut some vegetables and make her salad "for when my daddy gets back from work"... In the morning we actually have time to chew our breakfast. We sit around the kitchen table and assemble puzzles (thanks to grandma). We read books, we go swimming - long story shot, slowdown has truly opened me up to the opportunity of spending time with Zoe.
I have had to tap into the best resource I had - my childhood memories, in sunny Jerusalem, and not my wallet to go out for yet another paid activity... As a parent raising a kid in the cold North East, I have had to adapt some of the activities to the cold climate, but all in all it seems to be working just fine.
I have time to think about how and why we raise our children the way we do. I mean is it right to have our children raised by other women (and I'm sorry though I do know one stay at home dad - most caregivers are still women), who leave their children to be raised by other women. I know it's some sort of cycle I can't even attempt to crack, but it just got me thinking are we going about this the right way?
Yes, I know so much has been written about this, I'm certainly not the first to have stumble upon the thought. But maybe this slowdown has humbled me and created true space to allow me to really absorb this unique period in my life? To have these moments of quite time - without the phone buzzing, the e-mail pop-ups, the very stressful working mother trap. Perhaps this slowdown is allowing me to catch up with myself, making room for Zoe to become a very real part of my life as much as I am hers, and maybe it's her turning 3 last week that has allowed me to reflect on my ever changing and spacial relationship I have with her?
Beginning November 2008 I have been carefully monitoring the bright red and yellow "50%-75%-we'll pay you to take it" posters that have popped all around the block. Worried by the sight of empty retail spaces around... vacant lots with clearly marked parking spaces, I have made a choice to take a new optimistic view on this.
Since things have slowed down I have had more time to spend with my daughter - and I mean quality time.
Zoe and I have started cooking together, she can now cut some vegetables and make her salad "for when my daddy gets back from work"... In the morning we actually have time to chew our breakfast. We sit around the kitchen table and assemble puzzles (thanks to grandma). We read books, we go swimming - long story shot, slowdown has truly opened me up to the opportunity of spending time with Zoe.
I have had to tap into the best resource I had - my childhood memories, in sunny Jerusalem, and not my wallet to go out for yet another paid activity... As a parent raising a kid in the cold North East, I have had to adapt some of the activities to the cold climate, but all in all it seems to be working just fine.
I have time to think about how and why we raise our children the way we do. I mean is it right to have our children raised by other women (and I'm sorry though I do know one stay at home dad - most caregivers are still women), who leave their children to be raised by other women. I know it's some sort of cycle I can't even attempt to crack, but it just got me thinking are we going about this the right way?
Yes, I know so much has been written about this, I'm certainly not the first to have stumble upon the thought. But maybe this slowdown has humbled me and created true space to allow me to really absorb this unique period in my life? To have these moments of quite time - without the phone buzzing, the e-mail pop-ups, the very stressful working mother trap. Perhaps this slowdown is allowing me to catch up with myself, making room for Zoe to become a very real part of my life as much as I am hers, and maybe it's her turning 3 last week that has allowed me to reflect on my ever changing and spacial relationship I have with her?
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