ziploc parenthood

the day zoe was born was the day i had vowed to remember anything and everything.

but i don't.

though i frantically photograph, write, inhale any breath of her that i can.i feel as if i'm documenting like there is no tomorrow. this blog is also part of the documentation frenzy. but why? why do i even bother to find the camera, take the time to write her first words? it's as if something has taken over me. some might argue it's the hormones taking charge. i think it might be an effort to delay the inevitable parting from my child.

every day she grows i'm instatinasly happy and sad. happy that she acquires new skills, sad that she will soon be out of my reach.

the day we brought her from the hospital was the day fear started to resonate in me. the fear of not being able to be there for her. the fear that if something happens to me, no one would be able to really care for her as i do. so in a way i mask this fear of forgetting, parting, parenting with "zoom-in" and "zoom-out" shots of daily treasures. moments that all i really want to do with is freeze in a air-tight Ziploc bag and keep with me forever.