my daughter's keeper

The other day Ron told me a story about Zoe's attempt to play with some older girls at the swimming pool. He described how Zoe tried to get the girls attention by saying:"want to see something I can do?" only to be ignored by the girls who continued playing without her.

Nothing unusual and I don't think Zoe was even hurt by it... But the moment Ron told me the story tears stung my eyes and my stomach cringed. I was hurt for her and felt completely overwhelmed. I wanted to be there and take the insult instead of her.
I asked Ron to never tell me these kind of stories again - a strong reaction to an anecdotal story of kids' play. Ron's response was that I was overreacting and that he does not plan to spare me of these stories in the future...

Ron and I come from two different schools of thought when it comes to our kids making friends. Ron has the more reactive approach of teaching Zoe how to reach out to other kids and introduce herself to them, where as I am more passive, waiting for the other kids to show interest and then join in.

Why is that?

It mainly has to do with the fact that Ron grew up as an only child, and I have a younger brother, and two older siblings from my dad's first marriage. I never played alone.
Not only that, being an older sister has made me the strong and resilient person I am today. Having had my second son born almost 9 weeks ago has made me reflect a lot about my very unique relationship with my younger brother. It is a relationship where trust is never broken, love is always unconditional, it is a bond. This relationship has shaped me to be who I am today.

Younger siblings in a way are defined by who their older sibling are. Usually even nicknamed after them. I'm guessing older siblings are equally affected.
I have always put myself in the position of being my brother's keeper. Probably in an unconscious attempt to control life around me. Through this role I have become fearless of living my life to the fullest, my brother has given my the power to be an able and accomplished individual. I don't think he is even aware of how much so.
"Having" to protect someone makes you have to overcome fears and save face. It also creates one heck of an overbearing parent (sister?).

It seems Zoe is following in my foot steps. One of the first days after we brought Uri back from the hospital Zoe was very worried about the fact we left him alone upstairs, she voiced her own fear by saying "but he'll be afraid being all alone there"...If there is something younger siblings are really good at is creating space between parents and older siblings making them "have" to face the world with out the invisible "it's gonna be OK" protective shield, and allowing parents like me to step back a bit.